I'd like to share with you all, as I sit here listening back to - and editing the hilarious but terrible out takes out of - one of the audiobooks that I'm narrating at present, the glorious and unimaginable secret that hides in your very own home. This secret is humble; it is silent, it is full of clothes and knick knacks and all those boxes that just... didn't go anywhere else in the house when you moved in.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen: I'm speaking of the power of your CLOSET.
I've seen some frankly ludicrous articles devoted to the topic of setting up a "perfect recording space" in the home. Some of them have advocated buying a tuff shed or building a purpose-built addition to your home with soundproofing being vivified and sanctified as thoroughly as the words of Ave Maria during the Pope's Christmas Mass. Some of them swear up and down that you will need external equipment galore, from amplifiers and compressors to mixing desks and insulation foam, the list goes on and on.
And, boys and girls, I am here to tell you in very low English that these articles are 100%...
If you have a closet, and it has a bunch of clothes in it, then you already have a very well sound-insulated environment that is screaming to be utilized as a recording booth. As for equipment, the one thing I splurged on was my beloved Blue Yeti microphone, which is, admittedly, a bit of a spend - $125-150, depending on where you go - but aside from that I have a laptop and my precious Scissor Arm with Pop Shield. The point is, you don't need nine hundred tons of foam-works, three separate amplifiers, speakers or any of that other bollocks. Here's what you need:
* A fairly decent microphone - Splurge here, if at all. I am a huge fan of the Blue brand. The Yeti, or the Yeti pro, are perfect for voice recording. Audio Technica also make bloody good mics, but whatever brand you choose, AVOID dynamic microphones. They usually look like this and they're great for stage vocals or recording singing vocals, but for narration, your best bet will always be a side-address condenser microphone (like the Yeti. Did I mention that before? I'm not biased, honest. And before all the trolls start raging in the comments, yes, I am aware that every microphone has its flaws and everyone has their favorite. But dammit this is my blog, and if i want to harp on about Yetis like some deranged Bigfoot enthusiast, then I will, and in the words of an old friend of mine: bollocks to you sir, you are not my wife.)
* A scissor arm to hold said microphone. I attached mine to my junk shelf in the closet. You don't need a stand if you have something sturdy to clamp to.
* My laptop, and Audacity to record and edit with. Why Audacity and not something expensive like Logic Pro Tools etc? Because Audacity is easy, widely used around the industry, and it's completely free.
* A pop shield. For those not in the know, Human beings make a lot of pops and puffs. Hold your hand up to your mouth adn say the phrase "Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers." All those Ps will generate little puffs of air; you'll feel them on you palm. Pop shields are designed to catch those blasts of air so that they don't cause a horrible mess in your recordings. I can always write more about the dangers of clips and recording problems another time, if you guys want, but for now let me get back to the topic: You will need some sort of Pop shield.
Decent scissor arm packages come with one, and the whole thing costs less than 25 for the arm, the shield etc. If, however, you feel like being crafty (or abominably cheap), get a pair of thick tights and stretch them over a wire clothes hanger. That's how I started out, and I used it for about 6 months until I decided to join ACX and go full throttle into chasing this career.
If you have these items, and a sufficiently stocked clothing closet, then you are all set.
Since I have no other more appropriate ending for this entry, allow me to leave you with this picture of a tiger that just really wants a hug:
Cheerio!
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